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A bridal shower is a gift giving party given for a bride before her wedding. The custom originated in the United States, although the first stories about these events have been known to originate in Brussels, Belgium around 1860. It remains a primarily US and Canadian practice. Showers are usually coordinated by the bridesmaids, who invite guests to offer gifts for the home of the bride and groom. The custom of the bridal shower is said to have grown out of earlier dowry practices when a poor woman's family might not have the money to provide a dowry for her, or when a father refused to give his daughter her dowry because he did not approve of the marriage. In such situations, friends of the woman would gather together and bring gifts that would compensate for the dowry and allow her to marry the man of her choice. A frequently quoted legend traces the origin of this practice to sixteenth or seventeenth century Holland. Bridal shower etiquette: Many different customs have developed in different regions and social groups. But the basic format has been relatively unchanged for generations, and emphasizes traditional gender roles. Sociologists like Beth Montemurro note that the ritual of the bridal shower "socializes women into the hyper-feminized traditional wife role", with its emphasis on the future role of the bride-to-be as family cook, homemaker and sexual partner. But this role is more of a homage to the mothers and grandmothers than a reflection of how the bride-to-be will actually behave in the marriage. Although the format has remained relatively consistent, there have been some significant changes. An etiquette guide from the 1920s suggested showers should be "purely spontaneous and informal", with guests arriving unannounced at the bride-to-be's home, while a planning guide from the 1950s suggests more complex themes and games. Traditionally, hosting the bridal shower falls on the Maid of honor. Because gifts are required of those who attend the shower, many communities consider it rude for a relative of the bride to host it. It has become customary for the bridal shower host to present guests with favors at the end of the shower. Bridal shower favors are often personalized with the name of the bride, or of the bride and groom and the date of the wedding. The shower normally takes place at least four to six weeks before the wedding. The number of guests and their relationship to the bride varies widely. In Canada among some immigrant communities parties in community halls with upwards of 300 guests were normal, while other cultures emphasized intimate parties with only close friends and relatives. |
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